The cuteness starts here:

We have been a little MIA here for no particular reason. I went through a bit of a dark phase over the weekend -- just missing my friends and living somewhere where I was already established and didn't have to think so hard all the time. Nothing major, just a little dip.

On Friday, we went back to the doctor's office where I learned that Teo STILL has a damn ear infection. The doctor says that if he doesn't get over it with this next round of antibiotics, I should consider tubes. She is worried about him missing out on some language development because he can't hear properly. That didn't scare the bejeesus out of me one bit, I swear.

I don't know. He is on his seven zillionth round of antibiotics (which I hate, btw) and we go back (again) in two weeks for another check. I will make a judgement call then as to whether he should see the ear, nose and throat specialist.

Meanwhile, I am noticing him growing in such interesting ways. He has taken to reading books on his own -- sometimes he sits and tells himself the stories. Other times, he pulls out books, hands them to me, and then crawls into my lap. It is the sweetest thing. He tries every day to stand a little longer on his own two feet. He is signing more and more (albeit sometimes incorrectly) and such a nutjob. Right now, for example, he is holding up my shoe and talking into it.

Work is going ok, the sun is coming out, and things are looking better. Plus, my little man is a complete ham:

Laughing dude from odessa on Vimeo.



Mateo took 2.5 unassisted steps today. Three minutes later, he did it again. He relished it and got a definite look of mischief in his eye. He seems to understand that this is the key to a whole new universe.

I think we're in trouble here.

(But I am a very proud mama, and so grateful to have seen those first steps. I have been a little worried they would tell me he is walking at day care, before I got a chance to see it myself. Gooooo Teo!)

PS He is feeling much better today, and was all smiles all evening. We just played and laughed for three straight hours.

Here are a few.

Especially the remote control and the musical band set. If you don't buy them, I will.

I am so late in posting your happy birthday wishes, but happy eleven months all the same. I am absolutely shocked that your next birthday is going to be the Magic One Year Mark -- time flies and that is so very, very bittersweet.

As of right now, you are sleeping in your crib, after a tough day. We were in the ER for your ears and diarrhea and then there was a severe amount of vomiting at one point, and in the end of course they gave me an(other) antibiotic for the ears that you can't take until you stop the various forms of expulsing things from your body. So instead, we are spending our weekend crying, lying on our bellies, and changing diapers. Seeing you sick is the absolute worst feeling I have ever in my life encountered. I am not exaggerating this. Your pain is my pain, and then amplified because I just want to be able to make you better.

But until Friday, you had a decent month. Well, there were some shots but those actually seemed to work for a short while, and you were sunny and happy again. Your grandparents came out to visit, and although they were here to meet your new cousin Howie, you guys also got to spend some good times together. Twice, you cried after they left, which was very touching.

Don't worry, Little T, because Grandma and Grandpa happened to buy a house while they were here, and they will (eventually) be moving to town! This means that you get to grow up knowing them, and that makes me so happy I get tears in my eyes. Their house has a moderate-sized fenced backyard, so I am already envisioning you playing there.

Speaking of playing, you figured out something pretty neat today: you learned to kick. We were doing our usual circuit around the house (me holding on to your hands, still) when you came upon your favorite Tupperware bowl. By accident, you gave it a good nudge and sent it flying, and suddenly it was like a whole new world opened up before you. So then we kicked the Tupperware around for another ten minutes. I spy soccer in your future.

And as for the walking thing, you are so very close, my friend. Two days ago, you stood unassisted as you tried to step from your pushy lawnmowery thingie to the chair that you like to push around the house. The step was unsuccessful, but the attempt itself leads me to think that you are paving the way towards true toddlerhood. This afternoon, you drank your water holding the cup with both hands. Standing up.

Other developments: you are now officially sitting in a big boy chair during mealtime at day care. They have also said that you are one excitable little dude (duh) and that group time - when they sing - is always a blast for you. Apparently they make up simple little dances to go with the songs, and you are quite an active participant. You have also started some minimal signing and that is exciting, too. The other day, your grandma and Aunt Kari decided to teach you to say "Uh-oh" whenever you drop something, and I can validate that you have certainly gotten that down pretty well. Your grandpa also taught you how to stick your tongue out at people. That was something I was concerned about checking off the list.

Things have been extremely chaotic and tiring the last few weeks, I have barely had a moment to relax. I was looking forward to a bit of a break this weekend, but of course your health is first. Please get better Bubs.

Next month is the big'un, and your Aunt Laura is coming out here to celebrate with us. I can't wait! I am still not completely sure what we will do for your big day, but it will most likely involve you eating food dressed only in your diaper, because I have a feeling there will be some messiness.

Ok, so really now. I have gone video-posting crazy. But in the last 24 hours or so, Mateo has taken to climbing into the cupboards. I just decided to clear out an entire cupboard and call it Teo's, leaving a few pots, pans, and tupperware things so that he could do as he likes. This system is awesomeness, as it means that I can cook dinner or do the dishes while he just goes to town on the kitchenware.

But I just started cracking up today when I saw him 100% inside the cupboard, and I ran to get my camera to catch the rest on film. I got a snippet of it, and you can tell that I am still laughing quite a bit. I have watched this thing four times and I STILL chuckle.

This was my Saturday night, and it was perfect. Vegetable steamers make for a good time.

Pots n pans Part Deux from odessa on Vimeo.

What do you think he is thinking?

New pics on flickr, if you can't tell.

I keep trying to snag videos of Mateo dancing, and he goes nuts until I pull out the camera, and then he just stops. So here's 20 seconds or so.

Short Dance from odessa on Vimeo.

I taught Mateo about brushing his teeth about a week ago. I told him in both English and in French that big boys brush their teeth in a certain way. They put the toothpaste on the brush, they run it under the water, and then they do the bottom row followed by the top. He listened attentively and opened his mouth at the appropriate times. When our lesson was over, he took the brush himself and did a surprisingly passable job of brushing his own teeth.

Ever since, every night after we read a bedtime story, we head towards the bathroom. We say good night to Mama and to Mateo in the mirror, and then we go through the Official Brushing of the Teeth Ceremony. He gets very excited and usually tells me something about it. Then we brush together.

It is all very sweet and tells me that my little man is growing up.

Also? He totally freaks when I take the toothbrush away. He would sleep with it if I let him.

Mateo was very sick. He woke up on Sunday with a terrible fever, shaking so much that I took him to the emergency room. I would have just taken him to his regular doctor had it not been Sunday, but oh well, ER it was. They were prompt and didn't make me feel crazy for bringing him in. It turns out his ear infection had only gotten worse in the past few weeks, and I guess his body just freaked out on him, causing him to spike a crazy fever.

I took him to the pediatrician today and she looked into his ears. "Mom," she said, "We gotta talk." I guess it had gotten pretty ugly in there, and so she gave me the line-up of options. I appreciated that she said one wasn't any better than another, and let me make my own decision: shots. He is getting three rounds of shots in his little legs and we are just bombarding his little veins with antibiotics. I am against the overuse of antibiotics in general, but this infection is just not. going. away. His ears have not been clear in over a month, and she said that letting the trend continue could lead to some hearing loss. Generally, that is to be avoided.

My sister was an angel and she came to watch him this afternoon once we came back from the doctor's. She is a million weeks pregnant and she still did that for us, I am so grateful. I needed to go to work -- the job is new and I don't feel comfortable just skipping out like that on my third week. My boss is gone as of Wednesday, too, so these two days are super important. I went in, made my appearance, did my work. But honestly, I am just exhausted. Saturday night we hardly slept at all. Sunday drained me further. And then today was crazy. Tomorrow and Wednesday are likely to be similar.

Additionally, I just have so much work to do. I was worried about how I would get it all done even before all of this went down.

I am sort of amazed at how life just sort of exploded in my face. Goodness.

We'll make it through, and this weekend will probably be the best in my life because of it. I hope to

1) sit
2) shop for furniture
3) do laundry
4) go to the baby sale
5) sit some more

Teo seemed difficult and grumpy until about six-thirty this evening. But for the last two hours, he has been all smiles and sunshine, and I pray pray pray that the medicine is working. I want my baby back -- seeing him so happy again made me realize just how miserable he has been these last few days.

I am going to shower now. I don't even remember the last time I did that.

I typed up a Happy Ten Month post and apparently lost it. I didn't have internet (not really, anyway) until today, so I saved it but I guess my connection timed out. Anyway.... Happy Late Ten Months little man!!!

You have gotten so big and I am so proud of you every day. The big thing this month has been seeing you adjust to our new life here in our new town. You have been a real champ. New teeth, new bed, new teachers, new friends.

Speaking of new friends: your day care teachers give me updates every day after school. You have two friends there who you play with regularly. When neither of them was there the other day, one of your teachers said, "Don't worry about Mateo. He has a girlfiend, too..."

"Oh really?" I asked, intrigued.

"Yeah... him and Sophie sit on the playmats and cuddle sometimes. She kisses him a lot."

You're already trouble!

They also mention how social and outgoing you are, and how you are fascinated by the inner-workings of a lot of the toys. You like to flip things over and see how they function, and this part of you makes me think of your uncle and your grandpa. They also have said that you are clearly the most enthusiastic about group singing time. You sing along and dance for everyone. "You've got a little music man!" they said, and don't I know it.

The lion is back from odessa on Vimeo.

Your lion came back in a box and you were ecstatic to see him again. You have started this new style of dancing that involves your arms, and I only caught a little bit of it on film.

The other part of the film that's interesting is this scrunched-up face you make at the end. This is your new tick, and I have to say, I hope it sticks. You screw your face up a whole bunch and then tip your head back, and then you smile while the rest of the face is still all tight. It's hilarious.

Every morning, I wake up and say hello to you, and you are groggy and snuggly and cuteness extreme. When I sense that you are starting to get a little more with it, I head into the bathroom so you can admire yourself. We spend every morning waving at you in the mirror, and you think the funniest thing is to walk out of the bathroom and then "surprise" the you in the mirror. It never gets old.

Your aunt Kari and I noticed today that you are getting YET ANOTHER tooth in that mouth of yours. Could you stop that, please? Your girlfriend Sophie is only on her SECOND tooth, and she's a year old!

So this month has been a little tricky as you and I have both had some health issues -- nothing serious, but enough to make us a little grumpy. You were the sickest I have ever seen you, and it was just sadness all around. When your smile came back after the worst of it, I was just so happy to see my little man again. I love your smile and would bend over backwards to see it daily.

This next month is going to be a very exciting one. You are going to get to meet your little cousin for first time in just two weeks, and you are going to see your grandparents shortly after that. I am so excited for us to settle into our new life and for you to become the little man you so clearly are turning out to be all on your own. Soon you will be walking and talking and doing all kinds of big boy things, and I just want you to know that I am so proud of you and I love you --- every step of the way.

New wooden floors!!!! from odessa on Vimeo.

Mr. T still has the infection in his left ear, and the right one is "clearing." Last night his temperature was 100.6, this morning it was 101.7. So we went to the doctor, as planned, and were given the same diagnosis as last week. We are on our third antibiotic. He is just so achy and feverish -- he has been clinging to me all day and has me in a complete monkey grip. We got in a decent night's sleep, but I just hope he starts feeling better by tomorrow. It is very sad to see him so lethargic... he is normally such an active guy but right now he wants nothing but to sit on me and whimper. Breaks my heart.

We are not joking in the teeth department around here. Five new ones in maybe two weeks.

Love this game from odessa on Vimeo.

Oh good God, time is flying. You are such a big man. We have been on all kinds of adventures together and I am so proud to be your mama. Did you know you are currently working on your fourth tooth? You're an eighth of the way there, my friend. That is terrifying.

I don't have the time or energy to write up a big summary of the crazy ways you have changed this month, but I do want to say that you are getting more and more charming every day. You are so much more interactive and smiley and giggly, and I love waking up and knowing that the first thing I will see is your goofy grin. Your hair is filling out and your legs are getting stronger. You have adjusted at day care and seemed to do well when I left you with the babysitter. You are just growing up quickly and the whole experience is bittersweet.

Also, I want to thank you for being a sport while we were out in Portland together. You were great on all four planes we had to take. You were good with all the new people and places and things going on, and you made my job out there a lot easier by just being an awesome kid. Plus, you made us all laugh when you chased 3-yr-old Will around the living room. Grandpa has officially started calling you Baby Tato.

We are both still getting over the tornado that was that trip, but luckily we have a full weekend to recover. That tooth better break through soon or we will both go crazy, but otherwise it should be a relaxing few days before the madness starts again. Enjoy your nine-month birthday as much as possible, even though it's tough with the tooth and the cold and the tired. I love you, big little man!

Mateo has always had a strong reaction to music. Recently, however, he has started dancing. This was filmed while he is out of sorts with a pretty bad cold (the poor thing can't breathe through his nose at all), and he still manages to groove. The music comes out of the nose of the yellow lion behind him...

Dancin machine from odessa on Vimeo.

For your eight month birthday, you climbed your first flight of stairs.

Time is flying. How are you eight months already? This is insane. Slow down little fella.

So this month you have become a little man in so many ways. You have your first tooth. It is big and visible and sticking out like a tooth should. You are seriously, seriously working on your second, and I get the impression that it is causing you a little more trouble than the first. But, you're a man now, so you can take it. It doesn't mean I won't get all mama bear-ish when you start looking uncomfortable.

Last week, we flew to Minnesota with your grandparents to tie up some loose ends at your great grandparents' house. They designed their dream home in 1960 and lived in it until great-grandpa passed away last September. That is a lot of years and a lot of life in one home. We spent a few days there, shipping off my great-grandparents' (your great-great-grandparents'!!) china and stumbling upon my grandmothers kimonos, meeting with the real estate agent and the estate sale guy, and then eventually closing the door to their house one last time. It was sad; even more sad than I thought it would be. I am happy to think that maybe a young family might move in, bringing life and laughter to a house that always meant that sort of thing to me. But still -- it was strangely tough to say goodbye to that chapter of our lives. I was glad you were able to be there with us.

I took a few small things from their home, some just because I thought they were neat and others because they reminded me of my grandparents. One of those things was a small blanket your grandma found that was more or less the same as my own blankie as a baby. Grandma said that maybe it could be yours, and I packed it up in my suitcase. When we got home, I went to unpack and was overwhelmed with the familiar smell of my grandparents' house that the blanket had spread through my stuff. I considered putting the blanket in a Ziploc bag, just taking it out on occasion to smell it. But I wouldn't do that; that would be a crazy. Still. Tempting.

At any rate, you went through the process with a smile on your face, tearing through the boxes, tissue paper, pots and pans, and anything else we came across while going through their things. You were fun and goofy and everything we love about you. Having you around to lighten the mood was wonderful.

Your big thing now is pulling yourself up to a standing position on any object that seems more-or-less the right height. Sometimes this works and other times it doesn't. For example, you now love to see your bath water fill the tub, and you will lean over watching it flow every night. You also like to pull up on the coffee table and play the "drums" on the table. You have even started lifting your hands entirely and just leaning on the table with your belly. Sometimes, though, you try to use unreliable things like bedspreads and tablecloths to support you. Those don't work so well. Still, you are getting the hang of cruising and I am pretty sure you will be walking in a few more weeks. I am still trying to wrap my head around that one.

The best thing you learned this month, however, is how to wave. Oh good God, this is the cutest thing ever. Sadly, like most baby phases, you seem to be growing out of this one, but for several days you would wave at anything and everything whenever you could. The funniest part is that the wave was sort of backwards; you would curl your hand under with the palm parallel to the ground, as if you were raking in the air towards you. It was fabulous and I never wanted you to stop. Instead, you learned a more excited and active wave that looks more "normal," and you flash us all a hello whenever we show up. That's pretty cute, too.

Another big thing this month is that you have started day care two times per week. I thought I would have a terrible time leaving you at first, but thankfully that is not the case. I feel good about the people you are staying with, happy to know that you are surrounded by other babies, and excited at the idea of you being an independent guy with some experiences outside of our home. Of course, I am thrilled to see you by the end of the day, but the little break is healthy and good, and you seem to be handling the transition ok. Although, the day care director told me that you threw a fit because everybody but you was sitting around eating one day. She said you were very upset. I can't say I blame you.

Here's to another month, little man!

Oh man, are you growing up fast. Imagine my surprise last night when I went into your room as you were crying (you were supposed to be going to bed) only to find you looking like this:

I had set you down horizontally -- how did you get vertical?

This morning, we repeated the process and Grandpa and I watched you climbing to a standing position on your own. It took you under a minute, and Grandpa noted that it would have been faster had you not stopped to sample the taste of the bumper on the way up. I agree with Grandpa when he says, "You're going to be a pistol." You were pretty proud of yourself, and you repeated the entire process with a smile for Grandma just a few minutes later.

This development -- alongside your learning to crawl (more or less) and your shiny new tooth -- appeared at a symbolic moment. Baby clothes usually go from 0-3 months, then 3-6, and then it's Bigkidville. And although you are wearing 9- and 12-month stuff already, I guess I still had a bit of a distinction in my head that said: babies are little babies when under six months, and big babies when over six months. So you have passed six months and entered the big leagues. The proof? Your next big milestone is, God help me, WALKING.

Grandpa and I took you to the YMCA the other day for your first swimming class. Not only was it fun to see you discovering water like that for the first time, it was also neat to watch you check out other kids. Your grandpa was also pretty cute with you -- we blew bubbles, sang the Hokey Pokey, and practiced watching you float. You seemed to like swimming, athough you couldn't understand what all these weirdo adults were doing singing in a pool together. I am not quite sure what to tell you about that.

The things we have discovered you enjoy in the past month include (but are not limited to): dumping out your toys from the laundry basket, testing out vocal pitches and volumes, grabbing Grandma's earrings, watching tap dancing on TV, Carrie Underwood, bananas and carrots, playing with the shower curtain, rolling from A to B, watching people load/unload the dishwasher, and dropping anything you can get your hands on.

So now you have your new tooth and can't stop rolling your tongue over it. You're pretty funny looking when you do it, but I can tell you're having a good time. And as long as you're happy, mama's happy.

Happy seven months, Big Guy.

Wow, Mateo, you're six months old today. How did that happen? You were just an itty bitty guy and now you have exploded into full-grown baby mode. It is amazing to me that you have grown so much in these six months, and that time has passed so quickly. Of course, in many ways, I feel like you have been a part of my life forever -- so in that sense six months seems like so few. I find it hard to believe that in another six months you will be a year old... but that's the way it works, I suppose.

Six months old and proud of it! from odessa on Vimeo.

Last night, I went through some pictures from your first days. Everything since your birth forward has been so magical for me, I wanted to relive it all a bit. Driving home from work yesterday, I was also thinking about humility, and how nothing in my life has been as humbling (in a good way) as the experience of being your mother. Thinking about and caring for another being day in day out is an oddly efficient way to learn more about one's self. I have changed a lot since I've met you -- it might not show on the outside, but I can feel on the inside that I am not the same person. Though things have at times been very difficult, I think most all of these changes have been for the better. Now, I just appreciate that even hard times are part of the human experience and that there is something to be learned from everything. The last few months haves made me a much stronger person, and I hope that these lessons that I have learned will help me be a better mama to you.

Before leaving Paris, I had a conversation with your dad about attitude. I told him that going into things and thinking you are going to make the most of them is sometimes half the battle. This has been my mindset since we left France, and I think it has paid off. I am still as happy as I was in France, even though my living situation is a little precarious. I am proud of myself for remaining positive and being able to laugh through the hard times. Of course, you make that pretty easy. Why, just yesterday you shook your head at your grandmother and me when we were singing an enthusiastic version of "Old MacDonald." Clearly, you weren't impressed, and we were dying of laughter at your vigorous rejection of our song. You make me smile and laugh so many times per day, and I often get tears in my eyes when I think about how lucky I am to have you here. You are the light of my life.

Yesterday you had your six month check up, and you are right on target for most things. You weigh just under 19 lbs and are about 28 inches long, which puts you up in the 75th and 85th percentile respectively. I told grandma and grandpa that they need to stop calling you chunky, because you're clearly much taller than you are wide. I think you're just fooling everybody because of your superman cheeks. Don't do anything to those just yet -- they're almost mindbendingly cute.

You also got your shots yesterday and were so brave. You cried a bit but as soon as I scooped you up, you just looked around the room with tears in your eyes, and the scariness of the shots was over almost before at had even started. You were a real love at the doctor's and you even made a new girlfriend on the way out.

The doctor also said that I need to get you to learn to sleep on your own, so I went out and bought a copy of Aimee's recommended book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The set up discussed in that book for quality sleeping seems a little rigid by my taste, but I decided to put it to the test yesterday and today, anyway. So far, so good. I never believed in crying it out when you were just a wee thing, but I have given it a go for the last five times I have put you down, and it has worked every time. Maybe you are old enough so that you can manage this better -- I don't know. Our previous attempts were unsuccessful. Yesterday, I put you down and you cried for five minutes and then put in a good hour-long nap. Nightime had you crying for 15 but then you slept from 8:30 pm until 5:30 am, uninterrupted. This morning, you didn't even cry for a full three minutes before you were out like a light. I am crossing my fingers that the week-long turnaround for you to learn to sleep on your own holds true, and that maybe your added sleepiness from the shots will help us with this transition.

This month is going to be very busy for the two of us. These last two weeks have been crazy, as I have been working so many hours and have had so little free time. You soak up all of my attention when I am at home, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The other day, we set up the Christmas tree and I am told you were very interested in how Grandpa put up the lights. You have also taken a keen interest in the ornaments, which you like to bat at and make fall off the branches. That sure is neat. Fortunately, you're not really walking or crawling yet, as we would probably have to nail the tree into the wall so as to keep you from tipping it over.

You also went to see carolers at the nursing home where your Great Grandma lives, and word has it that you were fascinated by the singing. One of the residents -- they all know you well by now -- got tears in her eyes when she saw you. She has had a stroke and can't really speak or move, but she always has a smile for you. The day you went to hear the caroling, she said "Hello," to you, which is really quite amazing. You bring happiness everywhere you go.

We have started feeding you "real" food now that the doctor says it's a go. This is so much fun, and you seem to enjoy it too. A friend of your grandparents is lending us a high chair, and I have to say -- it is amazing to me that you are old enough and big enough to be in a high chair. You like to feed yourself and you are pretty funny about the cereal. I think you like the act of eating but not the cereal itself. We are going to try more fun things progressively in the coming months, I can't wait until we discover something you really love.

At Christmas, your aunts and uncles, baby cousin, and great-grandma are going to pack into this house, where we will all live like sardines. I am going to continue working some, but mainly I want to spend as much time with our family as possible. We are blessed to be able to spend your first Christmas with people we love. I can't wait!

Somebody around here has figured out the sitting thing. Well, mostly anyway. He topples occasionally and then is either pissed or confused, depending on his mood and how close we are to nap time. It seems like this sitting thing happened overnight, as one day he was sitting up reasonably well with the boppy supporting him, and the next I could sit him down on the carpet unassisted. In reality, I know this development has been months in the making, but it really came as a shock to me when he sat on his own for ten solid minutes for the first time.

This milestone seems symbolic in a way as well, as if Mateo is turning into a full-blown baby before my very eyes. He giggles and interacts so much more, he reaches for things and makes his desires known. He's genuinely FUN to hang out with and I am just flat out smitten. It is amazing to watch his coordination develop. Now that he can sit, we play games facing one another and I can watch him discover new things. It's so exciting and he is so dang cute.

Having him sit on his own has also alleviated some of his dependence on me. He is happy to sit and play with his toys in a way he wasn't before. Yesterday, for example, he sat with me on the bed playing with something while I folded laundry. I kept expecting him to ask me to pick him up or carry him around, but he just played away happily next to me. I continued talking to him and we were still interacting, but I was also able to get maybe 30 minutes of work done at the same time. Effortlessly.

Another development is that Mateo has now gone four nights without waking up before five am. He was doing this for a little while before we left France, but with all the changes and travelling, he was all over the place. These past few nights have left me more rested than I have been in months, and I think liberation from sleep deprivation is the most glorious feeling ever.

I was reading in a baby book that many parents feel some relief at around six months because the baby gains some independence. The idea sounded daunting to me when I read it a few months back, but now I see what they might mean. The sleeping, the sitting, the ability to entertain himself... all good things in my book.

The other big news around here is that Mateo experienced his first snow fall. He didn't think much of it, but then again neither did I. There's only so much positivity to be found in very cold winter days.

This next week I am working 36 hours -- which is now only *almost* full time (by American standards). I didn't ask for that many hours but that's what I got scheduled, and I'm going to see how well I can handle it. Should be interesting, but let's hope I don't return to the land of the sleep deprived as a result.

We have let Teo test a few solid foods over the last few days. My parents always make fun of me because I don't like peas, so I thought it fitting that Mr. T's first foray into real food be in the form of peas. Mateo likes to feed himself, and he understands the concept of a spoon, more or less. If you hand him the spoon, he will grab it and put it in his mouth. Sometimes it's the middle of the spoon that makes contact, sometimes he grabs the spoon by the food-filled part, sometimes the handle is of most interest to him. It's a real free for all. In the end, Teo didn't get a whole lot of peas into his mouth, but it certainly was fun.

I am not planning on really serving him solids for a few more weeks, but giving him a taste here and there is a treat for both of us. Him, because he gets a whole new gastronomic experience. Me, because I laugh a lot. On Thanksgiving we tested out sweet potatoes, a small portion of which he actually swallowed. I am thinking some sort of fruit should be next.

Also, Teo is beginning to lose his hair. I am excited to see what comes in once this stuff is out. Baby wisps are pretty precious too, though.

New pics up on flickr, starting here:

Oh my God, Teo, you are a giant. We established this over the weekend when you met your tiny peanut of a cousin. As Grandpa said, "You were a baby on Friday and by the time the trip was over, you were a five year old." In comparison to her, you suddenly doubled in size, or so it seems.

You and I have been through some serious changes over this last month, and I have to give you credit for weathering the storm with a smile. And a giggle. Oh the giggles! We got a bunch of them in a row while Grandma, Grandpa, mama and you all shared a very cozy hotel room. You were doing the full belly laughs and just having a ball -- now I want every night to end on a laughing note. I would do almost anything for that chuckle.

But yes, you have been an amazing baby with all of the traveling and jostling around we have put you through. It seems that every time you fall asleep, I have to get you out of the car seat or the stroller or the wherever just to truck you along to our next stop. You have flown more in the last month than most people do in a year, and, short of a few crying spells just before you fall asleep, you have been an excellent little jet setter. Unfamiliar places and people are not of much concern to you, and I am happy to see that you are the kind of baby who smiles at strangers. This part of your personality seems to be exploding this month, and I can't wait to see more of who you are.

This past weekend, after meeting the peanut, I got a little nostalgic about those early days with you. I was telling your aunt that it seems like raising a baby is all about the difficult nights during those first few weeks, and then, somewhere along the line, it becomes about the daytime care. You are such an active and alert baby -- you want to get your hands into everything -- and this is only getting more and more pronounced as your coordination develops. I am exhausted much of the time, as just maintaining you on a lap is sometimes more work than holding you upright and walking around a room. The action just never stops with you, and I am building up some serious biceps. Did I mention that you are huge?

On Saturday, we taught you to make a little farting noise with your lips, and then Grandpa and I spent at least ten minutes doing it back and forth while you responded. Seeing you go from not knowing how to do something to putting on your I-can-do-this! face was pretty neat, and it makes me think you're going to be a pretty determined little muchacho. I can't wait to see what this month brings.

Your uncle is a great dad, and I loved seeing him interact with his own daughter as well as with you. I'll admit to getting a little sad about how things have worked out with your papa -- not for my sake but for yours. I know you are surrounded by amazing men in this family, but nobody can replace a dad. Not even a mom who is determined to do the most she can. I don't quite know what to do about this. I have an odd mixture of guilt and sadness over it, I guess I feel like I am already starting you off at a disadvantage. You're a tough kid and I know it, and I am trying to be tough for you, too.

I can see you are on your way to eating solid foods, sitting up, and all kinds of big-boy things. It amazes me to think how quickly you have grown. We have a bit of a rocky road ahead of us -- what with the newness of everything and all -- but I am so glad we are going down it together. You really are one amazing little guy.

Every morning, we wake up together and I look at your big brown eyes and say, "Good morning Mateo!' in a groggy but excited voice. You give me a huge, gummy grin and I get all gooey from your cuteness. Every. Single. Time. I don't think that's ever going to get old.

Mr T is not the least bit expressive. I think he gets his stoicism from his uncle.

Check out his lack of interesting faces starting here (a five part series):

This neighborhood REALLY gets into Halloween. What a great place for Teo to spend his first one. Kids started stopping around about six, and an hour later, I had to take the dog out for a walk. It was so fun to work our way through the neighborhood, greeting the herds of little ones in their costumes. Their excitement was infectious, and many of them stopped to check out the baby or the dog.

"I know a dog named Rocky! He is skinny and very old!!!" one Jedi told me through his missing front teeth.

"Is that a Westie? My best friend has a Westie!!!" a young princess announced.

Before I knew it, my little trio was encircled by at least ten children, all shouting and jumping around. They shared the most random information with me, and a few moms took pictures of all of us. When the dog started growling and the baby started crying, I decided it was time to go, but it was fun chatting with them. Kids are awesome.

One other neat thing about this 'hood is that people sit out on their porches and front yards in folding chairs, some of them with little fires going. At least two or three houses were cooking hamburgers and hot dogs, huddled around their mini grills. For a moment, it made me so happy to be back in the US.

We hurried home and spent the rest of the evening out on the front porch, handing out candy and enjoying the unseasonably warm evening. By quarter to eight, Teo was ready for bed, so we stuck out a bowl of candy and headed upstairs to calm down from the night's excitement. That didn't work out so well, as the dog felt the need to bark at all the trick-or-treaters, but eventually he went to sleep and we closed up our first Halloween together. When I stepped out on the porch, the candy bowls were empty.

Hi Mateo! You are sleeping in bed right now, fast asleep on the first night of your fourth month. It has been a whirlwind of a day, and both you and I are absolutely exhausted. We spent the day cleaning out the house, and thankfully Kathypath was there to help us in a big way. You were so tired, but people kept coming and going and you never got to get in a good nap. Poor thing -- we put you to bed without a bath after you collapsed around eight pm.

I promise I'll recap all the amazing ways you have grown this month. I can't get over how much better I know you, and how much more fun you are becoming. Even your annoying screechy voice (that seems to fascinate you) has its merits. But for right now, I have to finish packing our bags so the two of us can go back to the United States tomorrow. It has been a long struggle for me to get things taken care of here, I hope you and I can breathe a sigh of relief once we get on the plane.

Maybe we'll get to do so once I stop crying from the goodbyes. The whole process is bittersweet, but I am so happy to have you with me for the ride.

Here are some pictures Aimee took of us recently. I love them and hope you like them when you're grown. You already look like a grown-up in this one.

Mateo has really started grabbing things in the last few days. Sitting at the kitchen table with me as I opened mail, he suddenly knocked several envelopes to the ground. Holding him in my right hand while drinking tea from my left, I was surprised to see his five little fingers rach out for my (hot!) cup. And as of today, his new thing when being held face-out, as he prefers, is to put his hand on or in my mouth by reaching up behind himself and blindly feeling around until he gets the jackpot.

His other thing is to put everything in his mouth. Other people's fingers are first choice, but otherwise toys, stuffed animals, and apparently his own clothing (during diaper changes) are all fair game. He also makes use of his own body parts -- the feet are not far behind, but for right now he is sticking to his own fists.

These changes feel like they take about two days to refine and then he obsessively works them to perfection. Just a moment ago, he was on my lap, facing outwards. His right hand was searching for my mouth again, and this time, it discovered my nose. Before I knew what was happening, he had turned his head around and was twisting to get the tip of my nose fully between his fierce gums.

In other words, he's discovered multitasking.

My boss asked for his camera back, so no "accidentally" taking it with me for this cowgirl.

As a result, we took a lot of pics in the last 24 hours that I will upload to flickr sometime when I have two hands free and have slept more thann five hours (3rd night in a row here).

Yet. Yet. I have a gem to tide you over until then.

Are these not the cutest pjs you have ever seen? (thanks, Mom!)

Happy third month, Mr. T! As I type this, you are quietly nursing in my lap, drifting off to sleep. We just got back from the doctor's, where we learned that you are in perfect health and 65 cms (25.6 in) long, 7,5 kilos (16.5 lbs). In other words, you're still a giant chubball, so all is good.

Not so good, however, was the second vaccine we gave you... it sure got you upset. Although, I don't know if it hurt you more than it hurt your mama to see you hurting. You were wailing afterwards, and I scooped you up right away. A minute later you were your usual cheery, curious self, but I walked the whole way home from the doctor's with you in my arms -- just to let you know that I'll always be there for you 150% when you're upset. I'm still not sure who was comforting whom.

This month has been the most exciting yet, as you have started showing hints of your personality. You love to talk and sometimes get very frustrated when nobody understands what you're saying. The resulting furrowed brow of concentration is far too serious for your little three-month face, but it's a staple in your repertoire of expressions. You have also reached a bunch of milestones this month, acting more like a four- or five-month-old than a three-er. You have started giggling and squeeling in delight, which of course nobody finds cute at all. You can lift yourself up on your arms now, and your neck is super strong. More than anything, you are perfecting your ability to stand, even though I keep telling you that you've got plenty of time to work on that.

Lots of the baby books and articles I read said that things start getting easier around the three month mark, and I couldn't agree more. You are so fun to take care of now, and everybody remarks on how chill you are. I hope you stay this way because you are just a sweet, sweet baby. No complaints here. You've even started letting your mama sleep 6-7 hours each night.

This month is going to be all topsy turvy as the two of us close one chapter of our lives in order to start another. Just keep smiling and I am pretty sure I will, too.

Teo has discovered flirting. He did it with Vegas the other day -- he would smile at him then bury his head in my neck, smile and bury (sooo cute!). Recently, he has started giving me a whole panaroma of smiles and sneaky looks.

I smell trouble.

Lovable, hugable trouble.

We've been doing so well in the sleeping department recently. Unfortunately, a little too well. Teo spent a good portion of the day drifting in and out of sleep, but I attributed this to the rainy, melancholy weather. Normally he hardly naps, so I was excited to get an occasional break.

But yes. Sleeping during the day seems to affect night-sleeping. So now it is 2:30 am and I am in front of the computer while he swings. We have been up for an hour and a half. One of us is ready to go back to sleep. I am hoping the swinging will lull him to la la land, but right now he is having a conversation with the refrigerator. This me think I have awhile to wait.

In the meantime, this is the cutest thing I have read in awhile. Go. Read. Smile inwardly.

It's so exciting to see how quickly Teo is growing. Every day, he figures out something new. Today, we were in the post office, and an awesome pre-teen girl (I know, it's almost an oxymoron, but she was super cool) was loving on him in a big way. Waving and coo-cooing and all that. And out of nowhere, he let out a semi-laugh and reached out to her, putting his hand in her palm. She loved it, and so did I.

He has figured out how to hit things with his fist, and is slowly but surely opening his hands more and more out of their perma-clenched state. While lying on his stomach, he is now lifting his head -- but he seems pretty far from rolling over just yet. Still, at this time last week, he was still desperately smushing his face further and further into the activity mat whenever given tummy time, and this new raising-the-head thing has made him enjoy being on his stomach a whole helluva lot more.

Yesterday, he had just eaten and was sitting in his chair (which he once hated and now loves, go figure) sort of spacing out. I was playing with his dinosaur that J&G brought him, sort of dangling it in his face. Ordinarily, he swats at it and investigates it, but yesterday he was just too milk-drunk to bother. So I sat it on his stomach and turned around to change the volume on the radio. When I turned back to look at him, this is what I saw:

Dino to mouth! Dino to mouth! Must cram leg into mouth!

Seriously though, it was sort of a big moment. He more or less grabbed the dinosaur and pulled it up to him. AMAZING. I think he's going to be a famous scientist or something.

It's crazy how much better I feel I know him than, say, a week ago. I'm getting to know his cries better, and I can tell when he's just fussy because he's tired or because they're actually something wrong. And he's changing to, in that when he cries and I do something that he likes, he'll calm himself down and take interest in it. I very much enjoy watching him both start smiling and stop crying at the same time, alternating between the two. It's entertaining.

At any rate, I can tell exciting times are ahead. He's so much more interactive than he was just a short while ago, and he's just going to be more and more so every day.

I can't wait.

You know what else is funny? I have gotten to know the moms in my neighborhood. How weird is that? There are a few that I have had conversations with and then I saw them agin, and they stopped to talk. This is so un-Parisian that I am still having a hard time getting over the shock of it.

Mr.T is popping out of his French 3-month onesies. For kicks, I tried a sixer on him.

Seems to fit, at least better than the 3-monthers. Maybe a wee bit big in the arms/shoulders, but I bet that won't be the case next week. He's 2 months old. Righto.

It's insane how small the French baby stuff is compared to its American equivalent. I guess we're just supersizing our people early. Gotta start 'em young.

Also -- T's pretty much done with his small cloth diapers. He really bulldozed through them. First his legs were too skinny, and now suddenly he's just too big in all ways. That's too bad. Gotta work on the amassing the next size up. And hopefully selling off the previous one.

Hey LittleT, happy two months! I just put you down for a nap and freaked out a little -- you're so big! Your legs were all stretched out and you take up a good portion of the crib now. When did that happen? Where is the time going?

Everything is going into your thighs, it appears. I think you might stock batteries or spare tires in there or something. You are such a Chunkaramacus, it's hilarious. In the last few days, though, I'm getting the feeling you're evening out... I think you've gained length even just since your doctor's visit last week. I'm not sure how down I am with all this growing you've been doing.

Speaking of the doctor's, I'll give you some stats: you weigh 6.3 kilos and are 60 cm tall. That puts you smack in the 97th percentile for both height and weight for 2-month-olds, which basically makes you the size of a three-month-old. Like I said: you're huge.

This month has been a bit nutty to say the least, but you are composed of 100% edible awesomeness, so you're doing a mighty job of keeping my days bright. You've started smiling up a storm, and good Lord does that make me tear up each time (in a good way). Recently, you've started doing this little act when you eat: you pull away from me and then look up into my eyes, and the left side of your mouth starts to turn up. I say, "Whatchyou lookin' at?" and your whole mouth explodes in a big, gummy grin. Gets me every time.

This month, you got to meet one of your aunts and uncles. They smothered you with the love you deserve, just as decent relatives should. You were a good baby, for the most part, so hopefully you can show your little cousin the ropes when you meet her, now that you've got this baby thing down. Don't teach her about that need-for-constant-motion thing you've got going, though, if you can help it. That gets annoying. But we still love you anyway.

You also met your fist this month, which is effective about 22% of the time. Sometimes you think your arms is your fist, but I know the confusion will clear up some day. Other times, you try to bring your fist to your mouth and you end up with it near your eye. Again... you'll figure it out.

A few days ago, you did the strangest thing. Out of nowhere, you grabbed a toy in your activity gym. I thought it was just a fluke, but kept an eye on you anyway. And I'll be darn -- five minutes later you grabbed it again. I was in shock. Tomorrow, I think you're going to get your driver's license.

Both yesterday and today, I put you down for a nap and walked away. Silence made me think that you were sleeping both times, but then I started hearing a little voice coming from the crib. I gave it some time -- maybe five minutes -- and I could still hear the muffled sounds of Teo. So I walked in to check on you and your eyes were wide open, and you wer talking to the mobile. Both times.

I like this story for two reasons 1) way to make the goats on the mobile feel at home and 2) way to entertain yourself. I like that you can be alone for a bit and not start crying for me. It shows you're a chill little guy. But I'll be honest in saying that I also like picking you up when you cry and seeing you immediately at peace, knowing I'm the one who can soothe you. Still, you're becoming a big boy and big boys sometimes have to hang out with their toys and talk to them on their own.

Your other big new thing is spitting and drooling. I can't say this is your most endearing trait, but I'm willing to cut you a lot of slack. You're even cute when you drool. How does that work?

These two months have flown by and I am so happy to be able to get to know you every day. You change so much from one week to another, and I don't want to miss a minute of it. You're that fabulous.

My little man fell asleep at 10 pm and woke up at 4 am to eat! The excitement is insane!!! I went to bed around 11. Do you realize that I just slept almost five consecutive hours!?!?

I got a little cocky, though, because now it's almost six am and Teo does not seem even the slightest bit interested in going back to sleep. I'm not really vibing the starting-my-day-at-four thing, but I'll take what I can get.

Did I mention I almost slept five hours in a row?

My brother and SIL are here for the week and I love having them around. We haven't done anything - literally nothing - since they got here besides entertain Mr. M. When he sleeps, we talk as adults. Otherwise, most of our attempts at conversation are interrupted by comments on Teo's behavior at the moment ("He can't get his fist in his mouth." "Look at how his eyes are trying to focus while we spin." "I think he just pooped." and so forth). They are both adorable with him and my brother has become an expert spinner (Teo likes to spin). Good times, all around.

Yesterday it was just too unbearably hot to go out around town, but today they are taking advantage of the momentary cooling to check out the Louvre, as my SIL has never been. At some point this week, they may visit a chateau. Otherwise, the remaining plan is to hang with the little man.

I've got some administrative crap to take care of because I realized the secu skipped -- straight up just SKIPPED -- one of my maternity leave payments. I am usually a pretty bad budgeter but this month seemed way out of control. Now I know why. So I need to find out what's up on that front, as well as make a doctor's appointment for Mr. T for his two month visit. BIG BOY! I also have to get myself to the doctor for my post-partum visit.

In the meantime... here's Teo in his activity gym. I call it "brand new" in the video, but it was the product responsible for the major find I had last week. It's used but in awesome condition.... couldn't be happier with my purchase, and Mateo seems to approve as well. At any rate, he developed some new motor skills so here they are on film:

Reaching from odessa and Vimeo.

Things have been a bit difficult over the last few days -- not for any one specific reason, just a combination of things that has made every day a bit more trying than usual. For one, I've had some issues with The Boy, with my job, and with money. All seperate issues, all deal-able, but also all at once. Three big, important aspects of my life that haven't been tip top lately.

Secondly, my knees feel like they might fall off. I'm not sure why I am having such severe knee pain, but I think it's from lifting myself out of a sitting position whenever Teo is sleeping in my arms. I don't use any other support and I am pretty sure the pressure of getting up is throwing my knees out. I keep hearing that Baz Luhrmann song ("The Sunscreen Song" or whatever) in my head that says, "Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone." I mean, I'm only 27 but I feel like I've got an old man's knees.

Third, I think Teo is going through a growth spurt because he is always, always hungry. Sometimes he asks for the boob once every hour or 90 minutes. This makes it hard to get things done, and it also makes leaving the house a little more daunting. Still, life moves on and you have to keep going, so there has been a lot of nursing in public. Fortunately, I feel the French are pretty laid-back about that (weirdly, one of the few aspects of life where I can honestly say they're more chill than Americans).

But. BUT! He is the cutest thing ever and he unquestionably makes up for his elevated fussiness these days by becoming more and more interactive and fun.

Tomorrow my brother and sister-in-law arrive in town to meet Mister M. My SIL is due with a baby girl in November (woo-hoo! Soooooo exciting!), so I am going to try to introduce Teo to his cousin through his mama's belly. We'll see how that goes. I am thrilled about their visit and hope the weather stays just as it has over the last day or two so that the 4.5 of us can go for nice strolls around town.

Also -- can we just talk about the shedding for a moment? I have lots of fine hair, that's my general 'do. While pregnant, I had even more fine hair. Now, however, it is my floor that has tons of fine hair. Not working for me, to be honest. Teo has also really taken a liking to my hair and he holds it when he's stressed or just waking up. He also likes to try to eat it. Not sure what that's about. Regardless, I find it in his clothes constantly. Dear Lord, when will this shedding end?

And finally, a serious bright spot: While pregnant, Alison convinced me to sign up for MESSAGE, an organization for anglophone parents in France. I was hesitant at first because I am not really the association-joining type, but she convinced me and I am so grateful to her for that. In April, I went to their mega garage sale type thingie and scored on cheap clothes in a major way. It was worth joining the organization for that alone. But, a few days ago, I saw on their web site that somebody was selling an activity gym for super cheap (they're like, 90 euros or something new -- IN. SANE.) and I contacted her about snagging it. She and I set a date and then she also asked me if I would be interested in some other things. She has two boys and I told her that Teo received lots of 6 month and a fair amount of newborn stuff, but now that he is in this middle stage I have realized he doesn't have very much 3 - 6 month clothing (I know, he's not 2 months yet but he is already wearing some 3-month clothes). She pulled out a huge bag of REALLY nice clothing and sold it to me for .50 cents a piece. We're talking Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Jacadi, etc. I had to hold back and only take half of it, because he doesn't need much more than that and I just don't have space for all the goods she had. But I was positively beaming when I walked out of there -- everything I bought is really nice and I spent at least an hour at home revisiting my purchases in a state of bliss. So far, Teo has managed to be spoiled rotten but I have hardly spent a dime. AWESOME.

The woman was also really nice and, were I the murdering type, I would totally kill her and steal her apartment. It was probably the second-nicest place I have ever seen in Paris (topped only by Beccarah's boss's place across the street from the Louvre). She is a former journalist who lived in Cairo for 8 years and speaks Arabic (and French, of course), so we had a fair amount to talk about. Except that she's this Big, Important Professional and I work in a bookshop. It was a very pleasant encounter and I am still a little bit in disbelief at my luck with the clothes and what not. I'm almost tempted to do a fashion show with Mister M and post the photos.

Teo says hello to his peeps.

Shout-outs from odessa and Vimeo.

We have been very busy around here, I am still not totally sure with what. A lot of it is just having a six-week old who would much rather be in someone's arms than in a chair or on a mat. When he's really happy, he's ok with being on his own, but otherwise he'd like to be held, thankyouverymuch.

Littleteo and I managed to make it to the embassy this week -- twice, actually. It was a big, horrific, awful experience that involved Teo having a total breakdown while I was discussing things with the woman in charge of my file. She took her sweet, sweet time dealing with my file while he just got hungrier and hungrier. I then had to go pay a fee, and I asked the woman if I could go feed him first.

"No," she said, "People here are going on their lunch break soon, so if you waste any time you might not get everything done today."

So I see. They are going on lunch break and the little baby should have to put off eating for them.

Awesome. Especially since immediately after that statement they then took FORTY-FIVE minutes to finsh up with my file, and then they kept calling my "number" by the wrong number. I was number 823 and they kept calling 832, and eventually I went up to the window to ask them if they weren't mistaken. "We've been calling you for the last 20 minutes!!" the woman yelled out, all pissy-like. When I explained what had happened, and that the whole thing had in fact been her fault, she didn't even apologize.

In a way, though, I didn't care, because I fed Mateo a little bit in the interim, the poor guy was starving. Pulled a fast one on them, for sure.

Afterwards, we sat in the park and he ate for what seemed like a solid hour. Here he is, announcing to everyone that he's a 'Rican now, just after his meal:

I've been trying to get on camera just how freakin' adorable he is just before he starts crying. People on the street, metro, etc always start laughing when they see this face. I know I'm a mean mama, but it cracks me up too. Then he starts crying and I feel bad, but I can't help but laugh at the pre-cry face. This is *almost* a good enough picture of it, but you have to envision him doing it sitting up, with his head tilted back so that his lower lip REALLY sticks out. It's hilarious. It's also akin to the face my mom makes when we say goodbye after long visits.

Also, the book my parents bought him is still a hit. We read it every night and he is transfixed for at least 20 minutes every time. I am pretty sure that is some sort of baby maximum. He looks totally insane in this picture, and ordinarily I am the one holding the book, but the whole thing just makes me laugh so I am posting it.

So he's really a big boy now, getting to be a serious porker. He'll have his 2-month checkup in just over a week, so we'll see how much he's gained. He's like, 75% cheeks now! Delicious.

Teo and I had a pretty busy day today, and once we got home he was a little fussy. Nothing major honestly, he's a good baby who only really cries when something needs attention, but this evening he had a little case of the whimpers from fatigue. I knew he just needed to fall asleep, but he seemed so over-tired that he wouldn't let himself do so.

Yesterday I had been reading about swaddling and decided to give it a go. I had never really had the need to swaddle him before, but I thought that his mild fussiness - which was not the result of hunger, a dirty diaper, or discomfort - presented a good occasion to test it out.

My God! I wrapped him up and - no exagerration - he was asleep in 45 seconds. I rocked him a little bit longer to be sure he was in deep sleep, and then I eased him into his crib. Normally, at that point, he does one of two things: 1) jolts a little and then hesitates between sleeping/wakening, but then opts for sleeping or 2) jolts a little and starts crying (and therefore remains awake). But this time? With the swaddling? No jolting, no thinking about waking up, no whimpering. Just direct sleeping.

It's like finding gold, people! He was an easy baby before the swaddling miracle, but this is just fantastic.

So for the BTDT mamas, what can you swaddle your baby with on a hot day? Teo is a hot kid (his skin is always hot and he sweats easily). All I have for swaddling is the receiving blanket my aunt gave me, which is great for a rainy day like today. But what about hot weather? Do you just avoid the swaddling altogether?

It's sort of embarrassing how excited I am about this, but it's really neat that it worked!

Yesterday, Mr. M had an important first. I caught it on camera the second time around at about midnight. The footage was so dark that I had to brighten it up via software, which makes the vid look like something out of the 70's. I used my boss's camera and had to go through a whole series of encoding, converting and exporting to get this to work, and I'll admit to feeling a dorky sense of pride at getting these 18 secs online. Now that I've got the system down, many more (better quality) videos to come!

Mr. M from odessa and Vimeo.

Things are looking better.

First, I talked down my taxes to only 150 euros, much to my relief. Then, The Boy helped out with them some, so I was able to just pay that and walk away from it without having to give up any furniture.

Second, I don't know what's going to happen with the apartment and it still makes me sad, but I am trying to take a God-closing-a-door-yet-opening-a-window approach to the whole issue. I'm still searching for that window, but it's gotta be somewhere, right?

Third, Teo and I had such a fabuloso day yesterday. He was being so great all day, just getting upset after naps because it was TIME. TO. EAT. NOW!!! Otherwise, he was interacting with us more than ever and was very alert for a good portion of the day. He has started cooing and making other vowel sounds, which is adorable. Now that he has figured out how to do that, the sounds are pretty much constant, which makes me think we'll have a chatterbox on our hands.

(Family members may insert jokes here)

We went on a bit of an outing and he was an angel the whole way there and the whole way back. My biggest concern when out and about with him is public transportation, as nobody likes to go an entire bus ride with a crying baby. Luckily, Teo slept to and fro, and was content to sit in his stroller and check out the scene in between. I ended up just strolling around for awhile, thinking about how lucky I am to be able to take off these early months to chill with him. It was lovely. Afterwards, I sat and fed him in a park for awhile, a relaxing way to end the day. Once home, we read a book together, and Mateo really dug it! We read it four times and he stared at each page intensely, ooo-ing and aaa-ing the whole while. I could even tell which pages caught his attention better than others. It's so exciting to see these seemingly minute changes taking place.

Also, Aunt Kathy got him a cute little outfit shortly after he was born, and he is growing so fast that I thought I should give him the chance to wear it before he got too big. I don't know if all those strangers who commented on him in the street noticed how hip he was, but I thought it was fun to have him out of his usual onesie for the day:

God, I love this kid.

After a rough day, nothing better than saying hello to your very own mini Michelin man.

So about that going to bed easily at night thing? That not-partying-at-three-am-anymore thing? Yeahhhhh... scratch that. It's five am and we've been up since 3:10. He's feeling perfectly fine and is gurgling and checking things out around him. Just straight up not tired. Unlike his mama.

Hey buddy, I can't believe you're one month old already. In some ways, it seems like you should still be only a week or two -- because time has flown so quickly. In other ways, I feel like you've been a part of my life forever, and a month is just a drop in the pan. I was thinking last night about what a blessing you are, and I'll admit to getting a little misty watching you sleep, grateful for the chance to be your mama.

Your big achievements this month have included learning to support your own head (most of the time), steadily working your way towards a smile (so close:!), and completely and totally wrapping your mom and dad around your little finger. You've also become a definite chubster, with big big baby cheeks that beg to be kissed.

Sometimes when I am out in public with you, people stop me and say, "Wow, he's so little!" or "He must just be a few hours old!" and I think about those early days -- with your grandma and grandpa, when you really were just a few hours old -- and I feel both happy and sad. I'm happy because you are healthy and growing, and every day I get to spend watching you do so is a gift. But I'm sad because every new day is also one step away from this wonderful time of you being a newborn, and I can feel myself already getting nostalgic. I'm doing my best to slow down and just appreciate, and not worry about the time passing. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to blink my eyes and you'll be in third grade, and then I'll do it again and you'll be on your way to college.

We spent the early part of your birthday with your brother, whom you've been getting to know over the last few days. The two of you have a bit of an age/cultural/language gap, but it's been cute seeing the two of you interact. The Little Guy is really happy to have you around, and you seem super curious about him, too. Here you are checking out his finger at dinner. You look confused, but it sure kept your attention for a solid few minutes:

The second part of your birthday was not so good, as it was too hot for your little body in Paris today -- at least it was too hot for us to be outdoors. We weren't out and about for very long, but the heat got to you and sure made you unhappy. I think this was the first time I saw you really suffering, and it broke my heart to see you so upset. We got home eventually (even though the trip was a nightmare) and you are again a happy baby, but it was a tough afternoon for the both of us. I promise to make your next birthday a bit more enjoyable.

Otherwise, over the last few days, you've been getting better and better about keeping track of night and day. Sure, you still get up for food every 2-3 hours, so I of course get up with you, but now at night feedings you go back to sleep almost immediately. This is a much better system than the three am parties we were having together just a week ago. So keep it up -- I can dig this!

This last month with you has been the most amazing of my life. I'm sure it has been for you, too, but then again there aren't any other months in the running. I'm so excuted to experience all the wonderful months you and I will spend together -- happy birthday little man!

Ok. These last few days have been insane. It's 7 in the morning and I am making use of a quiet moment to update. This is literally the first time I have been able to sit down and just take a second. I don't know how mamas of more than one kid do it. Jesus. You are my heros.

The Little Guy has been here since Sunday, and suddenly having both a ten-year-old and a newborn demanding attention is really time-consuming. Granted, it would probably be easier if said ten-year-old was my own, or if we shared a common language, or if he had a room with his own toys to retreat to, but... details, details. Basically, my previous recuperating technique - of sleeping very little at night and making up for it whenever possible during the day - has been thrown out the window, and that has lead to one incredibly sleep-deprived soul. Today, The Little Guy and The Boy are heading out for a variety of tasks, and I am going to capitalize on that and sleep, sleep, sleep. It's been fun having him around, and he is a super well-behaved and polite kid, but man! Ten-year-old boys have lots of energy to burn. I also think his energy level is inversely related to my own.

But there is plenty of other random good news.

First and foremost, I have been the benefactor (well, Mister Mateo has been more so, in a way) of two very generous people's love. Last weekend, MissChris stopped by and handed over bags and bags of her son's clothing up to age two. So great! And they delivered the stuff right to my door! Incredible. It always amazed me how the internet can bring people together, especially when it does so in a context of generosity. She and her husband were both such sweethearts, and I am so excited for them and their upcoming move to Mexico and -- further down the line -- the new addition to their family.

And as if THAT wasn't enough, Alison popped in on Sunday and delivered a swing to the house. I've heard that in many cases the swing either doesn't work at all or the kid really likes it, and let me just say that Mateo is a huge fan. It's been pretty awesome for me, as he seems to need two things when not sleeping or eating: 1) to be sitting upright and 2) to be moving around. This swing has both elements and it gives me a break from the constant holding and moving. He still starts squawking after a certain point because he wants to be in someone's arms, but I have been able to put him in the swing and do basic things like unload groceries, start a meal, do the dishes, etc. in peace. He seems perfectly happy as long as if he can see me, and twice now the rocking has put him to sleep. AWESOME.

The next piece of news almost deserves its own post, but maybe only in my Teo-obsessed mind. Yesterday, he had his one-month check-up at the pediatrician's. The doctor was super nice and he is only a block away, so I am happy to continue seeing him. T-man apparently weighs 5,170 kg now, which the doctor could hardly believe. That's not abnormally heavy or anything, but he has gained roughly 70 grams per day whereas the average is more like 30-somethin'. The doctor was so surprised he kept whistling and woo-hooing after every measurement. Teo is now 4 cms bigger than he was at birth, and his head is 3 cms wider. In other words, the boy is growing and with gusto! He passed all the one-month tests and got the a-ok from the doctor, so if he's a big pig at least he's a healthy pig.

I also stopped by work the other day to introduce Mateo to everyone, and that was a good feeling. I snagged the camera we use at work -- it's a fancypants machine -- so get ready for photos galore. My crappy litlte point-and-shoot from 2003 was starting to drive me batty, and I realized that I would really like to have some good pics of these early days. Clearly, given how quickly this chubster is growing, he's not going to be this tiny for long. Gotta get it on "film" before it's gone. I've only got the camera for just over a week, so I am going to have to make the most of it.

And I am going to have to find the time to upload the pictures eventually, too.

It occured to me yesterday that I have not slept more than three consecutive hours since Mateo was born. I am adjusting to that reasonably well, considering IT'S NOT HUMAN to live this way.

So what do you mamas with boys do about that uncontrollable desire these little fellas apparently have to wait until you're changing their poopy diapers to pee? And how does his pee have such an arc to it? It's incredible! (Oh my God, Sophie's right... I've become that parent who talks about their kid's poop/pee all the time...)

Also, more advice: This is a little personal, but I had to special order a nursing bra. When it arrived, I took it out of the package and held it up, and both Kizzy and The Boy said, "Are you sure you ordered the right size? That thing is huge." I laughed and wore it on my head for a moment to demonstrate the hugeness (because I can be very mature when the situation calls for it), and then tried it on. IT FITS. So that's insane. I am firmly in the special size department, aka the unavailable-in-stores no-(wo)man's-land that makes bra shopping impossible anywhere other than online. So my question is: am I going to stay this size until I finish breastfeeding? Do I need to order another bra? I can't wear one same bra this whole time; I'll need to have at least two in rotation. I've still got another 10-15 lbs or so to lose, but I am assuming that won't affect my bra size for the time being (or if so, only minimally, and embarassingly enough even this monster bra is a little snug). What would you experienced mamas do?

I was thinking today that pregnancy and parenthood both require a healthy dose of humor. I just can't look at my new purchase without giggling. Because this is just RIDICULOUS. It fits my HEAD, people. And laughing is much better than crying, because there is a part of me that could go either way on this one.

Otherwise, Teo and I are doing well. He is asleep in my lap as I type this. I am already starting to get a little sad at the fact that he is getting so big. I mean, he's only three weeks old as of today, but I feel like he has changed so much. He's got a little boy face now, and his body is stretching out. I can't tell how much he has grown, exactly, but he is obviously a whole lot bigger than before. I am excited to take him to the doctor's next week to find out how much he weighs, because he is definetly porking up. He's still a skinny kid, of course, but I don't think that situation is going to change at any point in his life. Let's just say that he clearly got his father's genes in the fat reserves department. Teo's got little chicken legs that are just now starting to develop the typical baby fat rolls, but I believe that at his age, I was probably the same length but weighed a good two lbs more. I think I came out of the womb with rubber band arms. Teo came out looking like a long-distance runner. You can see he very beginnings of some baby fat in this picture.

He's already outgrown almost all of his one-month clothing, and I'm getting sentimental about packing it up. Help me. I've become a sappy mother. So now I know I'll cry when I drop him off at kindergarten, too. Never thought I'd be the type, but here I am.

It's been a little chaotic here since my parents left. I knew I would miss them -- even more than usual -- after their departure, but I also didn't know that not having them around would leave a gaping hole in Teo's heart as well. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic, but he has been a solid afternoon sleeper since the day he was born, and I could always count on those hours as "down time" to recuperate. But now I am getting suspicious: I think maybe he was such a good sleeper because he had two people and four arms constantly ready to snuggle with him. The day of their departure (Wednesday), Mateo did not sleep a wink from 11 am to 7 pm, and I was not happy with that. Yesterday, he was a bit better, but that might be because (surprise, surprise) he had two visitors in morning and early afternoon. Hrm...

Today, however, was a very difficult day. Teo clearly had some digestive issues and was a very upset little tyke because of them. He would wiggle and squirm in my arms all day, frantically requesting the boob but then whimpering and whining as he ate. On a few occasions, he was crying harder than I had seen him cry to date. Plus, Mateo had woken up every two hours last night, so I hardly slept a wink, and then the poor guy spent all day drifting into sleep only to be awoken by his bellyache. He never once went down for a consistent nap. Feeding him added to the belly aching but nursing was the only thing that calmed him, which was a bit of a Catch-22. It was a very hard day for me, as I felt really helpless and just wanted to make it all better for him, but had no idea how.

The good news is that we have gotten past an important parental milestone: the explosive poop. Yes, the digestive issues were cleared right up after Teo pooped his projectile poop. You know the kind. It shot out the back of his diaper, through his clothes, and onto the blanket we were sitting on. Once we had gotten that out of the way, and I had changed him and his diaper accordingly, he was ravenous and a much more happy eater.

I have never been so grateful for someone else's poop in my life. Nothing beats a happy Teo!

Mateo likes the water. This is another of my dad's pictures. I feel like Teo's face is starting to look less newborn-y and more like a little boy's. He's also chunking up some!

At my last midwife appointment, I was told that I should call the birthing center at 8 am the morning of my due date if I didn't go into labor beforehand. Given that Mateo is half-African, for some reason that made the due date extra important -- technically he should have come a few days prior to it. I still don't understand it, but that's what they told me. (ETA I have no idea what this is based on and have since googled it without success. I'd love links if anybody has info on this...)

So when the due date - a Sunday - rolled around, they had me come in and we all discovered there was no progress, nothing that indicated the baby was thinking of showing up any time soon. We set a date for two days from then, and the midwives hinted at the possibility of an induction.

Two days later, on Tuesday morning, when I woke up feeling exactly the same as always, I called the birthing center and they had me come in. As I had semi-understood there might be an induction, I asked if I should bring in my bag and tell The Boy to head on over. "No need," said the midwife on duty, Céline. "We're just going to do a test. It should take about two hours."

Confused, I headed to the maternité, where I was promptly hooked up to a machine that would track the baby's heartbeat. They put some sort of gel on my cervix that promoted contractions, and they monitered me for a bit. The good news was that yes, I could indeed have contractions and the baby could handle them well. The bad news was that none of it was leading towards much of anything on the labor front. After the two hours were up, they sent me downstairs to get an ultrasound, which was extremely painful for some reason. The tech kept pushing hard on my stomach, trying to get the baby to move. At the same time, my back was hurting quite a bit. Once the tech said everything was fine, I took my quickly fattening file back up to the midwives so we could decide on a plan of attack.

"Well, everything looks ok. If you don't go into labor by Thursday, you'll come back for another test -- more of the same. And THEN, if you don't go into labor by Saturday, we'll induce you."

By then it was past noon, and I was starving. I left the center feeling a little disappointed. I guess I had sort of hoped Tuesday would be the day, even though I wasn't excited about the idea of being induced. I called The Boy and told him I was being sent home. Called the parents and let them know there would be no baby that day. Called Kathypath and told her it might be another four days.

While on the phone with Kathypath, I started having really strong contractions in my back. As I had just been dismissed by the midwife, I assumed it was just the after-effects of the test, probably worsened by the fact that I was up and walking around. As I continued the conversation, however, I found that I had to hang up, as it was getting hard to talk through the pain. All I wanted was to be back at home and in my bed. I decided to take a taxi -- indulge a little bit -- as I was really starting to feel awful, but no taxis were in sight. When my bus passed by, I opted to get on it. Thank God some nice man offered me his seat. I spent the entire ride breathing in and out, focusing on relaxing. It was not easy to do. While on the bus, I started timing the contractions, and was surprised to find that they were regular and coming about every three minutes. Still, I assumed it couldn't be anything because the midwife has just sent me home.

Once I got off the bus I stopped in a bakery, where I was hardly able to order my food. "Is everything ok?" asked the baker. "I'm fine," I said, "I just ran some tests at the hospital and I'm in a little pain, but I'm ok."

"Do you need to sit down?" she asked, concerned.

"No, no... " I said weakly.

"When is the baby due?"

"It was due today!" I said, thanked her, and hobbled out of the store.

I climbed the stairs to my apartment with extreme difficulty, walked in, threw the sandwich I had just bought on the table, and collapsed on my living room floor -- spread out on all fours. All of the pain I had been holding in - since the now almost two hours since my departure from the center - went straight to my head, and I let out a moan while I arched my back and dropped my head down between my outstretched arms. I remained in this position, rocking back and forth, through several contractions.

This is not just after-effects, I heard myself think, and I knew it was time to call back the midwife.

I could tell Céline was skeptical when I asked her if it was possible that I could be in labor. "Wait until your contractions are 2-3 minutes apart and then you can come in. Take a hot bath or shower for at least half an hour. If you're still having contractions afterwards, then we'll see where we should go from there."

I called The Boy and told him what was going on. In the middle of the conversation, I couldn't answer him as a strong contraction gripped me. "I'll call you when I get out of the shower..." I managed to say.

Once in the shower, I completely lost my cool. I cried a little from the pain, and also from the fear I was experiencing going through this early stage alone. I also doubled over with each contraction. I tried soothing my back with the hot water, but I ended up feeling dizzy and borderline sick. After 15 minutes in the shower, I had to get out. I opted instead to kneel in front of my bed with my stomach and head on the bed. I don't know how long I was in that position, but my phone eventually rang and it was The Boy wondering how everything was going.

"We need to go in," I told him. "How long would it take you to get here to pick me up?"

He confirmed it would be between half and hour and forty minutes, and I said I would wait. I spent that time breathing and kneeling in front of the bed, just letting the time pass and feeling the contractions get worse. When The Boy finally came home, he knocked on the door, as he had left his bag with his keys in the taxi waiting for us downstairs. I couldn't get up as I was in the middle of a contraction, and over a minute later, I finally made it to the front door and opened it to the face of a very worried Boy. "God, I was beggining to think something had happened to you," he said, to which I confirmed that something HAD happened, but it would most likely keep on happening for a few more hours.

During the taxi ride, The Boy made small talk and tried his best to distract me. He was clearly on edge. I would answer him between contractions. The taxi driver was an absolute sweetheart, and I remember the weather was beautiful. I wanted to be able to say, "The day you were born, it was beautiful out, son." Occasionally, I caught the eye of the taxi driver in the rearview, and I found his energy oddly reassuring.

Upon arriving at the center, we were automatically admitted and I was strapped to a machine to moniter the baby's heartbeat once again. I was left in the preparation room to battle through the early stages of labor. Because the gel they had given me had obviously provoked something, they checked to see if I had dilated at all, and I was only at 1 cm. Céline said, "Well, considering three hours ago, you were at nothing, it means the contractions are working. But, you might be here for awhile. I'll be back."

By that, she meant in a looooong time.

The Boy sat and read his paper while I breathed. This went on for hours.

By six o'clock, I still hadn't progressed much, but they had noticed the baby's heartbeat